So its about 1045 and to be honest with you im so lonely. This really sucks, but I feel so worthless right now. Im just going to be a baby and say that i want some attention. I want it from someone who means something to me right now. Like Roger, Jason or Davis. I dont need sex.. i just want someone to call me and talk to me.
Lately its been all in my head that people just dislike me. I feel as if I am just very anti social when it comes to certain people. Like my roommate Mark. I feel that I am so distant from him. We are in to totally different places in our lives. I feel as if I am grown and wanting to move forward with my life. At the same time I am not having fun with life. Which is what he does. I feel that people who have too much fun are setting themselves up for failure. I dont feel as if they know that the world is going to do to them. Its going to eat them alive. Sometimes i feel that if mark does not grow up then it will be swallowed whole by the world.
There is so much other stuff that is going on in my life. Jason my first love has come back into my life. I spent most of my night sat hanging around him and trying to aplogize for a lot of the things that happen in our past. At the same time Roger was there and the intention was for me to go see him preform. I have feeling for these men. But at the same time i didnt know who to give my attention to. OH will i wont have either of them so i give talking to them both is just fine.
AWWWWWW.. this doensnt really help me as much as I thought that it would. One day I am giong to unleash my feeling out and oh god.. help me when i do..cause its going to be a great day.
