So its been another three years since I have blogged about whats going on in my life.
So whats new with me. Umm nothing really because nothing is really going on in my life. I still dont have a man that really loves me for me. Im really assuming that its means a lot to me to have someone in my life that really gives a damn
So my last relationship yea it was a bust. I did so much so fucking much. How stupid am I.. Really how stupid am I .. I let this man run over me. Hell I feel like I still let him run over me. Some of his shit is still here. i do everything ensure that everyone else is taking care of. When will I learn that I cant take care of everybody. Im just at the point where everyone man lies. Once day i will feel that I can be happy but right now I feel down in the dumps all the time. Why me
Oh my friends. If loyalty comes to mind, you should look it up in the dictionary. Im tired of being the one to make sure that we talk. I dont know I see you guys as family, but i really feel like im in a family of one. Granted I know everyone is busy, but damn how hard is it to send a text to check on people. Maybe im just different than everyone else. Just why why why do I feel that none of my friends honestly give a damn about me. Again why me
So apparently my cousin thinks my sister is gay. Which by the way is not true. why do you feel that its ok to talk about a 17 year old that you honestly never talk to. Why do you feel that you are better than everyone else. Last time I check we all tied our shoes the same way. Youre not better than me. Youre not better that anyone. You have issues too. If your life was so pretty, then way are people saying that your man is cheating on you. That sucks. You need to get your shit together. Keep my name, my sisters name and my family name out of your mouth. The fact that your irrelevant in most peoples life should mean something to you. I dont talk about you.. You never come up in conversation..
So when my mom found out all this was going on with my sister, my mom was like there is nothing wrong with my baby. So at this point i feel that my mom thinks that there is something wrong with me. I think my mom hates me. As I continue to think about the words it makes me think of the way that I come across to people.
So I guess in the grant scheme of things I can come across as being negatively. Its not that i mean to be negatively, i guess I will stop thinking out loud during meeting. I have to take this feedback and run with it. I know how to be succesful at my job. I just have to stop saying that to other poeple. I think they are mistaken what I have to negative. I dont want that.
Right now there is so much in my head. I have to figure out how to release some tension. that all I have going on in my head. I really hate being me. I feel that there is nothing coming my way that is good. I set and I think. Beining in my head is not a good things. As you can see this blog proves it.
I just want to be happy.. It starts with me and im tired of faking it.. It sucks sucks a lot.
