Time to vent

A time to vent is very near for me. I am just tired of life right now. I bet people notice the way I can be very happy and hi on life at one point and just down in the dumps the next.

I just realize that i have like 112 numbers in my phone and it never rings. whats up with that. The people i really want to talk to I just don't call and when it does ring I tend to rush people off the phone because I don't want to talk to them. Does anyone else see a problem with what is going on in my life. I tend to say the things that i really don't like, but then when they do happen.. i don't want to be bothered.
I am such a complicated person, i don't know if must people who are friends with me realize that I am a very complicated soul. I tend to want a lot of things, but when i get them I sometimes push them away. To be honest i have a very rich life. I have a mother who really loves me, I have friends who care very deeply for me, I have a roommate who would do anything for me, but i feel like i take all of them for granted. There are somethings that i just need to work on, and soon because i feel like I could lose a lot of the great things in my life.

Socially, i have gained a lot of friends from the local bar. Brad and Jesse are the coolest couple that i have known in a while. I feel like I can talk to him about anything. Jim is great.. we are on a great conversational level. I know he is going to be around for a while. .. And everyone knows about Bobby, he is the best. i just spend time with him and he new love interest last night.. I just want what is best for my him.. i hope he knows that.

As for as the Roger goes.. the times get more and more interesting. Friday night i saw him and i have to say that i enjoy spending time with him. This man does things to my heart and sometimes I just want to kick his ass because he does great things to my heart. So Roger you think I'm an awesome guys, and i think this past weekend you proved that to me. The way you looked at me before you left Friday basically left chills up my spin. Even my friend Jim agreed that there may be some chemistry between the two of us. So i guess we will have to see what happens when two scared shy people try to hang out more with each other.

Posting this helps a little but i just want to scream and maybe i will feel better. Maybe I will just take a nap..yea i will just take a nap.. more to come later